Another Example That The End Is Near...

I am about to say something that I never thought would come out of my mouth.
  I am ashamed...I am disheartened...I am rolling around in a pile of crap THIS high...
  I am so sorry America, but Gregory Lee Huffman Sr has just purchased and received a (gulp) SMART PHONE,,,
  Oh, the horror!
  I had said I would never purchase one of these...things, but my old phone died (may she rest in peace), so the only other phone available was this... thing.
  My girlfriend is laughing,  as I feel the world is.
  I am sorry, America,...I let you down.

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